Can't stop thinking about an EX IN USA +27 65 359 3463

These thoughts appear because human beings are wired to not let go of an ex romantic partner easily. We are programmed by evolution to preserve all important social connections, especially someone we love.

 

Thinking about your ex is part of the breakup grief. Your mind keeps thinking about your ex because because it wants to relive the good memories, it wants to change the bad memories, and it wants to accept whatever may happen in the future.

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Whenever the thoughts about your ex or the breakup surface, try to be mindful and ask yourself; “Is this something I can control?” or “Is there a lesson I can learn from this thought”. Doing so will give the thought a purpose. And that, in turn, will help you move forward.

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If you find yourself reconsidering the breakup or thinking about getting back together, remind yourself of the reasons you both broke up in the first place. While some couples do get back together in a stronger relationship, it’s not always the case.

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It’s very important to implement self-care and treat yourself with kindness. Remind yourself that it will take time to heal form the breakup. But you will eventually stop thinking about your ex all the time.

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You are not alone in what you are going through right now. To give you some context, here’s what some of our readers have to say about the way they think about their ex. Notice how some of them think about their ex all day, while for some of them, the thoughts about their ex would come occasionally.

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“I am constantly thinking about him with the new girl and it’s eating me alive. I texted him a few days ago, telling him that I still want us to work but he started blaming me for the break up and said he hates me”

Holly

“I know that I should spend more time to work on myself, which I have, but some part of the day my mind would always go back to thinking about her.”

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“We are on good terms and I am working on myself a lot. New clothes, gym etc it’s hard to stop thinking about her though!!”

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“I finally feel that I’m getting to the point of not thinking about her all the time. I know I’m making progress, I just don’t want to lose this one.

 

I really care about her.

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Before, I used think about her every second of the day. But since the last 3 days, I remember her maybe few times in an hour. I guess I’m healing.

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Note: We have helped thousands of readers heal from the breakup, stop thinking about their ex all the time, and even get their ex back (if the relationship is right for them) with our free email series. To subscribe, you need to take this quiz that also tells you your chances of reconciliation.

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Why can’t some people stop thinking about an ex?
If you are missing your ex or are going through breakup grief, it just means that you and your ex shared a special bond. And that bond meant a lot to you.

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Different people cope with a breakup differently. For some people thinking about their ex, the good memories, the bad memories, how the breakup happened, and the mistakes they made is a coping mechanism. But sometimes, these thoughts overstay their welcome and become intrusive.

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The reason why you can’t stop thinking about your ex depends on your attachment style/personality, your relationship with your ex, the way the breakup happened, the way your ex acted after the breakup, and your current situation with your ex.

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1. YOUR ATTACHMENT STYLE, SELF-ESTEEM, AND PERSONALITY TRAITS.

If you have an anxious attachment style, low self-esteem, or if you possess certain character traits (such as perfectionism or neuroticism); you are likely to think about your ex constantly trying to figure out what went wrong and what you can do to fix it.

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According to Healthline, constantly thinking about the past is common in people who always put the needs and wants of others before them. If you were the type of person who would always give priority to your ex’s feelings over yours, or if you would often make sacrifices for your ex, or if you had trouble setting boundaries; you are very likely to have constant thoughts about your ex.

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It’s also worth noting that introverts have a higher tendency to overthink things generally, and as a result, they may think about their ex too much.